To Gibbs, From Her
by atlantisflygirl
Summary: Jenny realises something. Jibbs. Spoilers for season five.


**NCIS: To Gibbs, From Her.  
Author: Kelly  
Disclaimer: I own nothing; all of the characters and everything NCIS related belong to their owners.  
Summary: Jenny realises something.  
Pairing: Jibbs.  
Spoilers: Up to end of season five.**

~~~

While everyone was out at lunch, Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs was reading something of major importance. At least, the person who had sent him the letter had deemed it to be important even though in his mind it was a situation that had been dealt with and didn't need to be mentioned again. His eyes narrowed as he read the last line over and over again, he looked up to see NCIS director Jenny Shepard descending the stairs and quickly shoved the letter into the top drawer of his desk.

Gibbs wasn't known for his discretion at the best of times and couldn't have made the action any more obvious. However, instead of passing comment on it, the red head gave him a small smirk.

"Interesting read Agent Gibbs?" she asked ever the professional.

"Nope." Another thing she had learned about Gibbs was that he gave a lot of one word answers. A regular man of few words. He leaned forward and hit the button for his monitor. "Something I can do for you director?"

Jenny cast one more look towards the drawer which concealed the letter then looked back to him. "Yes...I'm looking for Agent DiNozzo."

"He's out to lunch," he said looking at the now illuminated monitor.

"When isn't he?" she retorted folding her arms across her chest but made no effort to move from her spot. Gibbs looked up at her with something simmering in his gaze, it was hard to decipher and she was learning that after more than nine years of knowing this man there were still complexities she had yet to master.

"When he's working," Gibbs said dismissively as he looked away in an obvious attempt to deter her from asking anymore irrelevant questions.

Jenny wondered where this behaviour was coming from and guessed it had something to do with the piece of paper he had been reading. It was either a report or a letter but judging from the condition of it and his manner towards her, she guessed it was a letter. A private letter. "Something wrong Jethro?"

Gibbs was shortly running out of his already limited patience, DiNozzo had been testing them all day and now Jenny was threatening to send him over the edge without even having to try. "No," he said barely opening his mouth and keeping his gaze lowered. Again, she didn't move and he looked up to her with those piercing blue eyes. "If there is nothing else director..."

Their eyes were locked for a matter of seconds but it was enough for her to know when to back down. In that brief moment she could see all she needed to know, he was deeply troubled but it didn't affect him enough for him to confide in her. Jenny swallowed and forced herself to break eye contact with him, she hadn't met anyone who could out stare Gibbs and she doubted she ever would. She looked back to him. "No," she answered, her voice lowered. "There's nothing else."

Gibbs held her gaze for a few seconds longer before looking away yet again. "Well good," he said paying attention back to the monitor. Jenny realised that this time he wouldn't be saying anything else so she turned on her heel and headed back over to the stairs. "When DiNozzo gets in I'll send him straight to you."

She looked back over her shoulder; he hadn't even looked up when addressing her. "No its okay," she answered softly. "I'll come find him myself."

"Suit yourself," Gibbs said still refusing to look at her.

Jenny watched after him for a few more seconds then disappeared back upstairs to the sanctuary of her office.

---

As well as knowing Gibbs all too well, Jenny also had a lot of personal insight into Anthony DiNozzo as she had assigned him to a special task. It was a personally motivated one but one he had carried out despite the risks he had incurred by going deep undercover. It was because of this connection they shared that she knew he would take his time over lunch. As she waited she decided to have Cynthia order from her favourite restaurant while she browsed through the local paper.

The usual news was contained within it, nothing ground breaking or of interest until she got to the announcements section. It contained information such as news of weddings, births, deaths or general things like job opportunities and usually it didn't interest her but something caught her eye:

_"Mr. and Mrs. William Mann would like to announce the engagement of their only daughter, Miss Hollis Mann, to Mr. Anthony Jennings, son of Mr. and Mrs. Walter Jennings. An August 31st wedding is planned."_

Above the announcement was an accompanying picture, it was the first time she had seen the former army colonel in civilian attire and she was less severe looking than she would have imagined. Her husband-to-be wasn't bad looking either but he certainly didn't hold a candle to Jethro. As soon as she thought about that it struck her as to why Gibbs was acting the way he was.

Jenny placed the paper down and continued to stare at the picture. Obviously there had been more to their relationship than she had imagined, she knew something had been going on between them. A blind person could see that but she didn't realise that it had been anything serious. There was one thing she was certain about though, whatever Gibbs and Mann had shared, it hadn't been love, affection perhaps but definitely not love.

With a frown the NCIS director rose to her feet and crossed over to the door.

--

The silence of the bullpen was soon shattered as Anthony DiNozzo, Timothy McGee and Officer Ziva David returned from their much needed lunch break. DiNozzo made their presence known by speaking as loudly as possible as he stepped off the elevator.

"How many times do I have to apologise?" Tony asked.

"I am just saying that if I had been the one driving we would have gotten there much faster and actually had time to eat at the restaurant," Ziva retorted.

"If you had been the one driving we would never have made it at all," Tony spat back. Ziva was known for her insane driving and he had experienced it first hand way too many times.

"I have to agree with Ziva, Tony." That was McGee chiming in.

"Can it elf lord," Tony said shooting him a threatening look.

McGee wasn't intimidated. "I'm just saying if we had taken the usual route then we wouldn't have been stuck in traffic...you've got to admit it was pretty hectic."

"I've taken that route plenty of times and trust me," Tony answered in an attempt to keep some of his dignity intact. "It's usually not that hectic."

"If you say so," Ziva said dumping her bag on her desk and sitting down heavily in her seat.  
"I do." Tony shrugged off his jacket and tossed it onto his desk.

"Puppet," Ziva muttered under her breath but loud enough for Gibbs to hear. He gave a hint of a smile but it disappeared just as quickly.

--

Jenny leaned against the railing, she had witnessed the whole exchange between the agents but her gaze had remained fixated on the silver haired agent the entire time. In her life Jenny Shepard was fortunate enough to not have to deal with rejection; she'd had many admirers but had never once faced rejection. Gibbs on the other hand obviously had.

The more she thought about it, the more it made sense. People thought that it was a little strange that he had been divorced three times but now she was beginning to see it all clearly...perhaps a little too clearly. All of those situations had been out of his control, his first wife Shannon had died. He divorced his other wives because they had tried to harm him in some form or another and Stephanie had divorced him because of how Gibbs seemingly cared about the job more than her. She had obviously had enough of playing second best and filed for divorce.

As much as it was hard to admit, she herself was guilty of rejecting him. While they were on assignment in Paris she and Gibbs had gotten really close, a lot closer than they should have. Jenny had a hard time admitting it to herself but he had wanted something more but he didn't fit into her plans and therefore had no place in her life. She had screwed him over both mentally and physically. An expression of sorrow worked its way onto her beautiful features.

Gibbs looked up and she slunk back into the shadows as best she could. He had a way of knowing when someone was there but he made no acknowledgement of it, once he carried on talking into the phone she shifted from one foot to the other.

Hollis Mann had obviously left him instead of it being the other way round. It was natural to make that assumption considering Gibbs' reputation as a bastard but that was in a professional capacity, no one knew what he was really like between that tough exterior. They had glimpses of it but that was only the side of him he allowed the world and his friends to see, she knew there were emotions within him that he would probably never truly share with anyone.

Mann probably came to her senses and realised where she stood in the scheme of things and wasn't willing to put in the effort. It had been easy and convenient to make a clean break with her retirement, it meant she didn't have to see him on a case and have a constant reminder of what they used to have.

Again Jenny could relate to it from personal experience, she stood back from the rail and narrowed her eyes at Gibbs as he pulled the letter back out once more. This time however he didn't open it, instead he stared at the folded piece of paper with an impassive expression.

As if sensing her gaze, he looked directly at Jenny who hadn't had time to avoid detection.  
Jenny remained where she was and straightened up, hoping her eyes conveyed something that he would recognise. Gibbs' eyes lowered for a moment then back up to her, a silent communication. Why had it taken years for her to realise the mistake she had made when she let him go? How could she have not seen that he was worth the effort? That he was worthy of her time and love?

He looked away once more, opening the letter and immediately put it through the shredder beside his desk. There was a faint mechanical noise as the delicate blades destroyed the words concealed within it forever, words that Gibbs would never speak out loud. Words that would stay with him until the day he died.

Even though she didn't know the true contents of the letter it didn't help quell the uneasy feelings of guilt that gripped her heart. As far as Jenny was concerned the letter might as well have contained words written by her own hand. A confession, an apology, a letter to Gibbs, from her.

THE END


End file.
